I hate the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie. Sure, Hugh Jackman is impressive in all his physical glory, but the plot of the movie sucks.
It’s a movie about ‘penis envy’ that masquerades as superhero action movie. Don’t believe me?
Here’s proof.
Warning spoilers below!
Sabertooth’s overgrown fingernails are shorter than Wolverine’s claws. But Sabbie shows Wolvie that it’s not about the size of your claws, what matters is how you use it.
In order to revenge his humiliating defeat, Wolvie gets adamantium bonded to his skeleton. Now he’s longer AND harder. He defeats Sabbie. Sabbie is unwilling to accept that Wolvie’s claws are now longer AND harder than his.
Sabbie now wants adamantium too.
Before Sabbie can get his adamantium, the two brothers meet DeadPool. Deadie’s claws are longer than both the brothers’ claws combined. Their natural reaction is to kill him.
How terrible. Like I once remarked, if they wanted to fuck the Wolverine movie, they should have given DeadPool adamantium dildos instead of katana blades.
The three characters should have just dropped their pants and laid their goods on the table. That would have settled everything in 1 minute. Who do I see about getting a refund of 1 and a half hours of my life?
