Lately I’ve been feeling an exceptional amount of fatigue. August was a crazy month for me. Professionally I had to help organize the the President’s Challenge Thank You reception while overseeing multiple projects worth around 6-digits.
And when I mean ‘oversee’ I mean I had to bao gar liao (Hokkien for “take over everything”).
Then I had to prepare for my classical guitar recital, Dedrick @ The Durian.
After that, I purchased a new XPS8300 computer from Dell at Sitex and have been busy migrating data and installing programs, trying to get the system to usable state.
I also give Yi-Hui the “best birthday celebration of her life” (which included a personalized birthday card and gifts for all 5 of her senses).
I feel exhausted and totally drained.
After Dedrick @ The Durian, I experienced a ‘performance high’ that lasted for 4 hours, before crashing. Big time.
It was an emotionally draining experience.
For better or worse, I’ve kept myself busy over the last 2 years. Maintaining this blog has become a massive effort in itself. You won’t believe the amount of e-mails and requests I get.
I get requests from everything ranging from Kaori Muraji’s contact (which I don’t have by the way), to interviews with the media, to requests to reconnect with my mentor Alex. Thankfully, my former teacher Ernest Kwok, is much easier to contact, especially now that he has joined facebook.
Sometimes I feel like Alex’s press agent.
BTW, I should mention that I answer all queries, regardless of whether or not I can help them. It’s not part of any ISO certification. It’s simply the polite thing to do.
For the last few months many have urged me to front and restart the Classical Guitar Society of Singapore. Han Vota (the former President of the Classical Guitar Society), and Betrand Lim (a prominent flamenco guitar personality and supporter of the classical guitar scene) are very keen on restarting the society.
Response from my friends Jeremy, James, the Toa Payoh Guitar Club, Marcus and Guitar Synergy have been positive.
Only Andrew Wee expressed constraint in restarting it.
“If you restart the society, you must be very clear about what you want to achieve” he cautioned. But he also pledged his support if it was restarted.
Honestly I am keen to restart the society. But I feel like I have too much on my plate. The society needs to be bigger than 1 man.
Also, I’m not sure if I’m the best person to front the new society. Throughout the years, I have remained very neutral (or is it reclusive?) and have no strong ties to any cliques. I also have confidence in my abilities to lead and rebuild the society.
But do I have the time and energy? Honestly, I don’t think so.
I was supposed to start small by forming a quartet with some friends. But since I entered the ‘OdinSleep‘, nobody has taken the initiative to arrange a get together.
It’s not a big deal, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s indicative of what could happen if I restart the society. There needs to be a strong team of core members who are ready to guide the society and shape the scene with a steady hand.
Over-reliance on 1 man is not feasible.That was precisely what caused the previous society to falter.
I’m a strong believer in learning from history. I’m not egoistical to fool myself into believing that I’m ‘better’ or less susceptible to failing.
My current fatigue affirms my limits and the need for a strong team. Anyone can be part of the team. The question is who else is willing to do the work?
Please resurrect the Society. Classical Guitar Society Malaysia is much alive and kicking. What’s stopping you?
Sustainability is my greatest concern. Over the decades, smaller groups have emerged to fill the void of a central body. This brings into question the actual need for a larger overarching society. In a small country like Singapore, getting skilled guitarist to participate in a society will be tricky when their commitments may already be elsewhere.