It’s not uncommon for parents to send their children for music lessons. Judging by how kiasu Singaporean parents can be, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s more prevalent here than anywhere else in the world.
But what parents fail to understand is that not all children have the propensity to perform equally well in music. I’m a firm believer that everyone can form a relationship with music, but not everyone can do equally well.
In order to become a musician, one has to be willing to commit the necessary time, money and effort. Having spoken with various musicians across a varying platform of instruments, I’ve compiled this list of questions you should ask yourself before aimlessly making this commitment on behalf of your child.
Is my child mature enough?
Children, by nature, are hyperactive. This presents a huge problem for music teachers. This problem is especially pronounced for music teachers who teach instruments, as opposed to music teachers teaching music appreciation and theory.
Getting a child to stand properly (for the violin), or to sit in classical position (for classical guitar) can be a major hurdle in itself. Some children just can’t sit still. Children can do anything from fidgeting, to performing mild acts of acrobatics, all of which presents serious issues for teachers to face.
If your child seems shy and introverted, or has a natural sense of curiosity, your child may be well-suited towards learning a musical instrument.
But, if your child is insufferably hyperactive and uncontrollable and If under no circumstance can you image your child sitting still and taking instruction for 30minutes to 1 hour, then you should not send him/her to learn a musical instrument.
Some music schools offer a more physical form of music appreciation that may be more suitable for your child. But if you still insist on your hyperactive child learning to play a musical instrument, then proceed to the next point.
Am I willing to commit the time in helping my child?
For a child to succeed at any instrument, a large amount of parental involvement is required. You should not leave the development of the child to the teacher alone. The only circumstance in which that would be acceptable is if the teacher was hired to constantly teach the pupil everyday for 2-hours.
If you are not committed to helping your child succeed, then your child’s music lessons will not be as effective. Committing to your child’s musical education can mean a number of things. This varies from sitting-in with your child during music classes, to ensuring that your child gets sufficient, quality practice every day.
The children of today are constantly assaulted by a large number of distractions. Television and videogames will always appeal to children more than practicing their instrument. For the child to succeed, the parent needs to monitor his/her practicing routines on a daily level.
If you intend to adopt a ‘leave-and-forget’ approach towards your child’s musical lessons, then you’d better be prepared for the consequences.
If you intend to send your child for exams, do you know the doors it doesn’t open?
Do you know that a part-time music diploma is not equivalent to a full-time music diploma? More importantly, did you know that obtaining a part-time music diploma will not necessarily open any conservatory doors for your child?
In fact, good conservatories make absolutely no distinction between an applicant with a part-time music diploma and one that doesn’t. Your child won’t get special consideration or advanced credits based on the part-time diploma alone. Applicants are purely considered on the basis or meritocracy.
A Singaporean pianist with an ABRSM diploma and a long-haired, unkempt, jungle-raised, Paraguayan piano prodigy with no formal musical education will be treated the same.
The only exception is in the UK, where the ABRSM system is slightly more recognized. The Peabody Institute, the USC Thornton School of Music and Juilliard are just some of the leading conservatories that make no special consideration for those with part-time music qualifications.
Music exams not only fail to open certain doors, but may close them as well. If your child becomes fixated on the concept of exams, what happens when there are no more exams to take?
Will your child stop playing the instrument?
I strongly believe that all students should develop a life-long relationship with their instrument. The teacher is merely there to act as a matchmaker and facilitator who allows the relationship to blossom. I believe that if the child is inculcated with the right training, attitude and values, then the child can take music exams as an adult, once he/she has decided to undertake a musical career.
Does my child have the mental faculty to learn an instrument?
Playing a musical instrument is a highly abstract and complex activity. That is why so many parents want their children to learn music from an early age. Learning to play an instrument improves one’s spatial reasoning and motor-skills.
The problem is that some children are forced to learn a musical instrument too early in life. We need to learn how to teach ourselves before we can understand certain concepts. The problem is that some children are sent for music lessons before they acquire this crucial skill.
As a result, retention and understanding is compromised. Unfortunately, there’s no way to determine if your child has the necessary skills until you send him/her for lessons.
To make matters worse, Singapore’s education system is poorly equipped to identify children with learning disabilities. A child’s undiagnosed learning disability will compound the problem further.
I once spoke to a lady who had taken piano lessons as a child. She had obtained a high-level, part-time musical qualification, but she no longer actively plays the piano. She was diagnosed with dyslexia late in life, but it was already too late – the damage was already done.
The painful experiences she developed learning the piano as a child followed her through adulthood. Her inability to keep pace with other children undermined her confidence, and her mother’s constant frustration had scarred her for life.
“Give me the boy till the age of 7 and I’ll give you the man”. Our childhoods form an important developmental part of our lives. The same hold true for music. Make sure you set your child off on a good foot for the duration of his/her musical journey.
Conclusion
It is of the utmost importance that your child attends music lessons for the correct reasons. There’s a host of Singaporean musicians who’ve stopped playing their instruments despite having obtained some form of part-time qualification.
It’s easy to fall in love with the romantic notion of sending a young child for music lessons. Surely, a child with a background in music will become more refined, cultured, member of upper-crust society. Unfortunately, reality’s road is paved with the shards of parents’ broken dreams. Keep that in mind the next time you consider sending your child for music lessons.
Want your child to learn the classical guitar?
I adopt a holistic approach towards teaching children. I employ an incentive-based, relationship-building model that encourages the student to form a life-long relationship with the instrument. This is achieved through a series of lessons that focuses on theory, music appreciation, and practical training.
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